Read what research has discovered about people's levels of happiness and wellbeing, the things which tend to lead to lasting happiness, and those that promise more than they actually deliver.
Each person is an individual, and different things make each person happy. But several recent surveys give us some clues about what makes most people happy, and what doesn't. (Some surveys relate only to Australia, Britain or the US, but worldwide surveys suggests their conclusions would apply more widely.)
Worldwide, people in most countries are generally happy with life (worldwide it appears that about three quarters of people are satsified with their lives). This is the case in Australia, even though most of us have anxieties about world events, especially terrorism, in recent years, and we tend to feel that our quality of life is getting worse.
However, people in the west are not generally any happier than they were half a century ago, despite the enormous increase in living standards, and in Great Britain and Australia they may be less happy now. Many students experience depression and thoughts of suicide - experts say students are often too goal-oriented to care about many of the things which generally make people happy.
Surprisingly (to me, at any rate) studies show that wonderful or catastrophic events have less of a long term effect on our happiness than we might imagine. People who win the lottery or have a serious accident experience an immediate emotional response, but 12 months later this has generally evened out. If we're happy now, we'll likely stay reasonably happy, come what may.
The studies tell us some things we really wanted to know! Like, people gardening are, on average, happier than people power boating. And chatting with friends gives more pleasure to most people than watching TV. Yes!
But what about the big picture?
There are some things that you just can't change, like your genes and the country you grew up in. Yet experts say that your happiness is about half determined by these things.
Extroverts, conscientious and agreeable people (qualities significantly affected by genetics) tend to be happier. And growing up in a relatively rich western nation with a protestant democratic heritage is likely to make a person happier with their life than growing up in a former communist country from eastern Europe, or in a poorer country.
So, if half of it is determined already, we'd better make sure we work on the other half, to make the best of life that we can.
Many of us think that being rich, able to afford to buy what we want, live in a good house and drive a flash car, would makes us happy. But we'd only be partly right.
People in the more affluent countries are generally happier than those in poorer countries, although there are many variations and anomalies. It is significant that in many of the wealthier countries (notably English-speaking and northern European countries) improving lifestyle has become generally more important than increasing wealth.
Within a country, wealthy people tend to be happier than poor people, other things being equal. Low income and unemployment (along with poor relationships) are the greatest causes of low wellbeing. But once a person has enough money to purchase the necessities of life, their happiness doesn't increase much even if they have a lot more money.
Significantly, studies show that people almost always overestimate the impact increased or reduced wealth will have on their wellbeing. And despite Britain being one of the world's richest countries, with incomes almost three times higher than in 1950, 61% overall, and 46% of the richest households, say that they cannot afford to buy what they "really need"! Yet almost 90% believe British society has become too materialistic.
Worse, for the more materialistic among us, wanting to have more quite definitely leads to being less happy. Psychologist Ed Diener: "Materialism is toxic to happiness".
Moreover, people tend to be happier when they gain intrinsic rewards (those that come as part of another experience), not external ones (where the rewards are sought for their own sake). Thus, people who spend their resources (time and money) on experiences and relationships are generally happier than those who spend on possessions.
"We want to understand the meaning of life, and create meaning in our lives and money can't do that for us." Clinical psychologist, Amanda Gordon
So if you want to be happy, seek enough money to provide the essentials, then be content with what you have. Enjoy it when you can increase your wealth, but don't worry or be competitive about it.
Here, the message seems to be much the same as for wealth. If you are really sick, getting well will probably make you happier. But if you are well, or only mildly ill, getting healthier will not increase your happiness much, and worrying about it will have an adverse effect. However, as we age, health becomes more important to happiness, so exercise, not smoking and sensible alcohol use become more important then.
Likewise, being attractive or popular brings a small degree of happiness, but worrying about it is a downer.
So being content with who you are is generally the best approach.
But some detailed findings are interesting. Smokers are generally far less happy than non-smokers and those who exercise a lot tend to be happier than those who don't. But drinkers tend to be happier than non-drinkers, with "risky" drinkers feeling the most happy - I'm not sure what that indicates!
People are generally happier when they are successfully doing something that absorbs them and challenges their skills. Thus, those who have meaningful work are generally happier than those who are stressed from over-work and those who have little to do. In particular, unemployment is one of the greatest causes of low wellbeing.
People doing volunteer work tend to be happier than those in paid work, perhaps because they are more connected to their community, or their work is more fulfilling. And people who are more educated seem to be happier, on the whole, than those who are not.
There is a growing trend in Australia and Britain for people to downshift - to reduce long working hours, and salary, to spend more time with family and friends, or in activities which they find more meaningful. Most report later that they are indeed happier.
Happiness is linked to meaningful relationships. Living happily with a partner is one of the breatest sources of wellbeing. People who love, and those who are socially engaged, are happier "The happiest people spend the least time alone". Ideal is "one close relationship and a network of friends". Good relationships act as a buffer to other adverse circumstances such as illness or unemployment.
Married people (and surprisingly, those who have been widowed) tend to be the happiest of all, and those who live alone, especially those who have been divorced or are separated, tend to be the least happy. Those in long term relationships other than marriage also tend to be happy, but not as much as those who are married - one source suggests that it is the commitment that makes the difference. Some studies suggest single women may be happier in old age than married women, but married men tend to be happier. Thus, "marriage is a gamble".
Children are a mixed blessing in their impact on wellbeing. If our income is sufficient, children do not significantly impact on wellbeing, but if our income is low, or we are a single parent, the stress of raising children increases and wellbeing is reduced.
People in groups such as sporting teams or interest groups tend to be happier than others, because of the network of friends such groups provide.
More than half Australians still think a terrorism attack is likely in this country, despite a recent reduction in anxiety about this. Those who most fear terrorism or their personal safety generally tend to be the least happy.
Our character and attitude to life also make a big difference to our overall happiness. People who are happiest tend to be those who:
It may be reassuring to think that behaviour we tend to admire, while it may not lead to material success, does generally lead to happiness.
People with "deep religious faith" or involved with a faith community tend to be happier than the average - this is especially true for youth. Economist Richard Lanyard (in 'Religion & Society Research'): People who believe in God are happier.
Studies show they have higher self esteem, are less vulnerable to depression, substance abuse and delinquency, and are less likely to experience mental illnesses, divorce or to attempt suicide.
There may be a number of reasons for this.
The various aspects of happiness and wellbeing tend to reinforce each other. People who are happy on one measure are more likely to be happy on other measures. And when we suffer from several problems (for example divorce, unemployment, a single parent), remaining happy is much tougher.
There is a lot of information out there, and a lot of conclusions could be drawn. These seem to be the main ones:
Positive psychology sums up all this information by identifying three areas (or "domains") of life which are keys to happiness:
It appears that old fashioned values and the simple things of life, such as family, religious and ethical beliefs, and thinking of others, have more going for them than our consumer-driven culture leads us to think. However if you choose to build your life on these values, you should be prepared to be challened by jokes, advertising and your own envy. Western culture tends to push the view that money, possessions, pleasure and power give happiness, even though these studies, and experience, show that this is often illusory.
It is surprising to me how people may research in detail the specification of a new car or computer they plan to buy, yet they appear to come to decisions and attitudes on major life issues without much consideration.
But if we wish to consider further what will make our lives more satisfying, what basis will we choose? Can we just decide one way or another, on the basis of what we find most attractive, or do we really need to be convinced about whether these values are "true" or not? Can we live our life for a cause we don't actually believe is 'true'?
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